PRESS RELEASE –
Good Friday oo7– PRESS RELEASE
JELLY JEOPARDY
HEMP JELLY WRESTLING – MardiGrass oo7 – HEMP
OLYMPIX
The tournament scheduled for the oo7 MardiGrass is now in
serious jeopardy and is likely to be affected by the dispute
between the Wrestlers’ Union and Hemp Olympix officials,
said a spokesperson from the Hemp Jelly Wrestling Federation.
Workplace agreements will be tested when delegates meet next
Tuesday to discuss the new conditions. The drought may increase
water restrictions during the weekend. Sources suggest that
many new regulations imposed will limit the possibility of
entertainment. The event will be compromised by the strict
legal requirements and has little chance of being recognized
as a ‘Championship Tournament’ because it’s
unlikely to be sanctioned by the HJW Federation.
Organisers have made an enormous effort to attract a crowd
to this new Olympix event, and are reluctant to announce that
there will be no appearance from Stinky the Lizard - HJW World
Champion. Stinky was injured in a freak jelly pit accident
during a publicity stunt. His health insurance cover had expired
the previous day. Stinky is now being sued for damages and,
is currently under investigation from the Gaming Commission
for accepting illegal donations and other breaches of the
Jelly Act, his agent says. Allegations have been made over
secret ‘back door deals’ struck with Hempy the
Clown who refused to comment and has also had death threats.
Minister for Hemp, Senator Headlock is disappointed, frustrated
and embarrassed after receiving assurances from the HJW Federation
that the new event was ‘in the bag’, then soon
after, the promises were broken. The Minister has gone to
great lengths to endorse Hemp Jelly Wrestling because, he
said, “…hemp provides employment and commercial
opportunities for the whole country”. The enormous potential
for hemp to counteract the effects of climate change was the
most important issue of his campaign at the next election,
said the Minister. Senator Headlock is now dreading the tournament
because he said “the future of hemp is at stake”,
and he will be labelled as an ‘idiot’. The large
numbers of police sent to help the tournament run smoothly
will now be left standing around doing nothing again this
year and only be seen as a waste of money and resources. The
police should be warned that there is more negative publicity
likely from disgruntled revellers concerned with the lack
of respect in police procedures when dealing with citizens
exercising their right to protest about civil liberties. Several
barrels of hemp jelly will not be wasted if the tournament
is cancelled, according to sources from the boys in town.
The chance of reconciliation is in the eleventh hour. No plea
bargains can be used to prevent a long, drawn out, court case
over the new Industrial Relations laws that are biased towards
company directors. The results, if negative, will send shockwaves
throughout the Jelly fraternity and wreak havoc if they can’t
be deflected by some inventive flash point diversions. Jelly
spin doctors will have their imaginations stretched to the
limit in this last ditch attempt to save the tournament from
virtual ruin. We must pray for the wrestlers and keep checking
the full program online at www.NimbinMardiGrass.com for the
latest jelly updates.
Whatever happens, the show must go on and, MardiGrass isn’t
just about wrestling. The whole weekend is not just a Festival.
We get together to protest about prohibition. The main reason
for the 15th annual Nimbin gathering is the Cannabis Law Reform
Rally on Sunday May 6th at 2pm.
THE JELLY UP DATE
The Legend of Hemp Jelly Wrestling
In the beginning, before Hemp Jelly Wrestling, there was
an eternal struggle, between Hemp and Evil, for the souls
of humanity.
The First Hemp Jelly Wrestling Tournament was forged through
the battle between Evil Angelica the Evangelist and the Benevolent
Hempress, Mary Jane Sinsemilla.
How it actually happened.
At the end of the Sinsemilla Golden Buddha Era, of the NO-BULL
Hippy, when all were Free to make their own life style Choices,
Evil Angelica the Evangelist, a missionary from the Prohibition
Planet descended to spoil the party and to impose the unjust
reign of the Greedy Profit Mahoward and the Twisted Chemical
Cartel of Sam Monto.
Through a bizarre, but fortunate, retting pond experiment,
Industrial Hemp farmers while trying to improve their processing
methods for Hemp Fibre production, accidentally Create Hemp
Jelly.
Simultaneously, the Profit Mahoward’s Party Pooping
Police including Evil Angelica, are in pursuit of Cannabis
Law Reformists, including, Mary Jane Sinsemilla, and stumble
into the Hemp Jelly. On contact with the Hemp Jelly the Cannabis
Law Reformist, Mary Jane Sinsemilla was Transformed into a
Super Hemp Jelly Wrestling Hero and subdued Evil Angelica
the Evangelist and the Party Pooping Police.
In this moment the Legend of Hemp Jelly Wrestling was born
and the nature of Freedom became Irrepressible!
In further news, the NO-BULL Hippies found that any one
with a conviction for the Freedom to make their own life
style Choices, could step into the Hemp Jelly and acquire
Super Hemp Jelly Wrestling Hero powers and challenge any and
all party poopers from the Prohibition Planet Team.
Nimbin MardiGrass and Cannabis Law Reform Rally,
MAY 5+6, 2007.
Ganja Faeries, Big Joint, local musicians, performers, street
theatre atmosphere, live web-cam feed, Industrial Hemp Displays,
Medicinal Cannabis Information, Hemp Seed Oil Nutrition, HempChoices
discussion at the Town Hall and at Peace Park the annual MardiGrass
Hemp Olympix.
This year, as well as the Gold Medals for the Grower’s
Ironperson Event plus the Bong Throw & Yell and the Joint
Rolling Contest, there will be a new Hemp Olympix Gold Medal
Event.
HEMP JELLY WRESTLING
24 fully certified and professionally
trained Orthodox Hemp Jelly Wrestlers
10 barrels of extra strong
Hemp Jelly made in Nimbin by real Hippies
Lights – Camera –
Action
Stages are: Orthodox Wrestling,
Pole Straddle and Dump the Loser
Plus a Live Band – (Third
Eye Screamers)
The Hemp Jelly will be green with a
good skunk & mango flavour. Agar-agar or sea weed will
be mixed with food colouring, flavouring, perfume, texture
enhancer, sparkles, flowers, herbs and water. This recipe
has all the ingredients for lots of excitement. All the wrestlers’
costumes will be made of mostly hemp.
The tournament will be in a large vat,
holding more than a ton, of Hemp Jelly about knee deep.
Some of the contenders for the Gold
Medal will be Dreadlock Headlock, Gumboot, Jelly Belly Sally,
The Masked Assassin, Judge Custody, Dark Horse, Stinky the
Lizard, Hempy the Clown, The Weed Inspector or maybe The Profit
Mahoward could take it out with an upset victory. The winner
of this new event will have the honour of becoming the first
Hemp Olympix Gold Medallist and World Champion Hemp Jelly
Wrestler.
All entrants will sign a disclaimer
before the tournament begins on Saturday May 5th in Peace
Park. Entry forms will be accepted until April 1st 2007
Major sponsors at this
stage include:
Nimbin Television - Church
of the Holy Smoke - Intergalactic Blues Mafia – StickyPoint
Magazine - Nimbin HempJobs - Nimbin Gourmet - Nimbin Museum
- Nimbin HEMP BAR - Nimbin HEMP Embassy
NIMBIN MardiGrass – HEMP
JELLY Wrestling
Will the forces of Hemp overcome
the forces of evil?
Who will be the first World
Champion Hemp Jelly Wrestler? IT COULD BE YOU!
www.NimbinMardiGrass.com
JANUARY PRESS RELEASE- MardiGrass
007 – Jelly Finger.
